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Post by rebecca2013 on Jul 25, 2017 6:55:35 GMT -5
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It's shift work.
Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Some people think it's romantic to carve their names on trees in the park while on a date. I'm more worried about why they're bringing a knife on their date.
2 cows are grazing in a field. 1 cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?". The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!".
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? OMG!!!!!!! BREATHE!! BREATHEEEEE!!!!!
*drum-mer
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Post by formerlyme on Jul 25, 2017 7:27:09 GMT -5
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Post by smitty45 on Jul 27, 2017 14:52:05 GMT -5
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Post by vega on Aug 20, 2017 3:05:12 GMT -5
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Post by chinadoll1981 on Aug 23, 2017 15:54:27 GMT -5
I love you rebecca2013.... you know that.... but jokes you love.... whew!!
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Post by rebecca2013 on Aug 23, 2017 16:09:26 GMT -5
I love you rebecca2013 .... you know that.... but jokes you love.... whew!! awwww..... you don't like my puns.... wahhh.....
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Post by rebecca2013 on Aug 23, 2017 16:22:50 GMT -5
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Post by chinadoll1981 on Aug 24, 2017 17:15:24 GMT -5
I love you rebecca2013 .... you know that.... but jokes you love.... whew!! awwww..... you don't like my puns.... wahhh.....
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Post by chinadoll1981 on Aug 24, 2017 17:15:57 GMT -5
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Post by tnthomas on Aug 26, 2017 0:35:15 GMT -5
Some people think it's romantic to carve their names on trees in the park while on a date. I'm more worried about why they're bringing a knife on their date.
You made me actually roll-on-floor-laughing!
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Post by rebecca2013 on Aug 26, 2017 18:47:24 GMT -5
Some people think it's romantic to carve their names on trees in the park while on a date. I'm more worried about why they're bringing a knife on their date.
You made me actually roll-on-floor-laughing! heheheh I liked that one too!!
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Post by rjhangover on Oct 8, 2017 11:50:36 GMT -5
How do you get down off an elephant? You can't, you get down off a duck...or a goose
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Post by 2old on Oct 12, 2017 6:27:01 GMT -5
Where do bees go to the bathroom?
At the BP station.
How do you think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg.
What do you call a camel with no humps?
Humphrey.
I asked a Frenchman if he played video games.
He said Wii.
Guy walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.
A beer for me, please, and one for the road!
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Post by rjhangover on Nov 6, 2017 12:55:58 GMT -5
Just keep in mind, it's a woodpecker.....
A woodpecker from Montana flew over to Idaho to check out the bugs and grubs in the trees over there. He lands in a tree and sees this Idaho woodpecker pecking on a tree and he can't get through it...so he flies over and bores through the tree with no problem, and they have a big ol' feast of bugs and grubs, then he flies back to Montana....about a week later that Idaho woodpecker flies to Montana to check out the bugs and grubs in the trees over there...he lands in a tree and sees that same Montana woodpecker pecking on a tree, and he's having a hell of a time, just can't get through it...so he flies over and bores through the tree with no problem and they have another big ol' feast of bugs and grubs....and the moral of the story is....the farther away from home you are, the harder your pecker gets.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2017 10:44:49 GMT -5
Thanks for the laughs, everyone. This is a great thread.
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