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Post by Weezer on Jan 27, 2021 22:04:43 GMT -5
Only two or three feet of snow..? be careful what you wish for.. How boot two six to eight feet, my sweet? Way up State of Maine is the state we lived in and all i did was complain! Seemed more like living in Alaska you always get what ya ask faw !! Your face turns numb, no way could you even chew gum ! we did not have a garage, had to keep the car outdoors our cold hands aways were always very red and sore. Used the broom to rid the snow. shoveling snow always made me growl that cold north wind , you always heard it howl! Your face felt frozen as you sat in the car to let it warm up along with your cuppa hot coffee and it would seem like a long one half-hour. Some how we would make it to the main road those snow plows we heard at night always did everything right! I never saw any snow on the road when it was daylight,!! but that was then and this is now. Savanna, Tennessee..Yippie!! Yesterday we had 60ยบ. felt like summer! but today it was cold as H E double L My knees were shaken and i ain't fakin' well now its time to work on my Crochetin' making my son an American Flag,. red, white and blue couch pillow.. with stars on top ,, his Birthday is next month. he will be happy i know. as he is still my strong Brick of Gold ! He's getting older and im feeling younger as i watch him grow old.. !!!!! well time flies when your having fun so best i say Adieu and run.. yes , im last, at last and im all agast.. see you tomorrow , good Lord willing as i want to shout , "im last to post!" and from 20ld i will not hear a peep! as i am posting this while he is fast asleep.. Attachment Deleted
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Post by 2old on Jan 29, 2021 19:27:22 GMT -5
Oh, my! Bet she's throwing a fit! Dear Weezer I did forget To post some prose and some rhyme So, guess I need to take the time.
Been so busy at my work today. Life is all work with very little play. Spent the morning cleaning windows on the 35th floor. Had to hang on tight as my scaffold in the wind did soar.
The wind whipped the scaffold back and forth until I suffered from motion sickness and became very ill! Lowered myself to the ground below And wandered home, moving very slow.
Went to my second job as a bartender on Main Street. Fell in love with a new waitress, she seemed so sweet. Kissed her under the mistletoe left from Christmas Eve. Then saw something my eyes did not want to believe.
My wife was standing there with her hands on her hips. Trouble is, I could read her words by just watching her lips. She grabbed me by the ear and pulled me out the door. Guess I won't be kissing barmaids anymore!!
My wife put her boot in my fanny and told me to go earn some cash. I thought the encouragement she offered was exceptionally rash! Hired on to a service that went around picking up trash Dumping garbage cans into the truck and watching it smash.
Pulled up to a dumpster and found someone laying on top. Turned out it was a sleeping policeman... a city cop! I shook him awake so he wouldn't end up in the dump. My goodness! A suddenly woken policeman is quite the grump.
Said he was on a stakeout, trying to catch a bank robber... a thief And that he was overjoyed with great relief. Said I matched the description of the crook and hauled me off to jail. Would someone reading this please send me cash for my bail?
I need freedom from this cell right away! So Forum Games on TRF I can play. I've typed this rhyme, handcuffed, with my hands chained to the shackles on my feet So my goal of being first to post last today is... finally... complete!!!
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Post by Weezer on Jan 29, 2021 19:57:25 GMT -5
oh my gosh! O golly Gee! leave for one day and in trouble i see you had to pay..!
What a life you live or lived And thinking what advice i can give. First of all your choice of jobs!
Maybe you would of been better off tossing hay up into the farmers loft! I recall you telling me once you grow up on a farm and away from harm..
either way you have the charm to please ladies ,yet do no harm.. I come here to read you comedies.. Cuz you make me laugh all the way til i'm down to my knees..
Well, i did not only stop by to say hi i came here to say, im the last to boast that im am the very last to post !! from here to the California Coast!!
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Post by 2old on Jan 30, 2021 19:03:17 GMT -5
Hello, Mary Lou And how are you? Wait! Who's Mary Lou? That isn't you!
Hello, Mary Lou... Goodbye heart! Listening to Ricky Nelson gives me a start. I don't know Mary Lou... and if my heart says goodbye I'll never win this contest no matter how hard I try!
Mary Lou must have been a cruel old lady To steal someone's heart would be very shady! Maybe she resold them on the black market each time Probably selling them for a nickel or a dime!
I'm just so glad I never made friends with this heart-stealing gal. We did have a neighbor, once, who at midnight would howl. Might have been Mary Lou when into a vampire she turned Stealing hearts from the gentlemen she dated, then spurned.
Hello, Mary Lou! Do you really know my name? Mary Lou, dear, do you realize I have great fame? I'm a famous poet, rhyming my life away. If you leave my heart alone, I'll send you a rhyme each day!
Hello, Mary Lou! You're way down the list in my lady friends. I know that's sad news this message surely sends. Please forgive me, but my wife and the TRF ladies are much nicer than you. And, they don't want to take my heart as it sounds like you do!
So, Hello, Mary Lou! Go find another group with which to mess around. We're all good people, here, as on line companionship we've found! You heart stealing witch, disappear from here and do it really fast For you've met your match as 2old always is the first, here, to post last!!
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Post by jaila on Feb 1, 2021 21:00:01 GMT -5
Mary Lou? Has she joined this forum now too? Or is it just me, and you, and you? Is anyone sane, here any more? What am I to think, or what should I do? I had some days when my password did not work. Well, the computer thought I was a robot, the jerk. I am not, I tried to protest, but my own password, I could not guess. I knew you needed me, or else you'd be last to post, all by yourselves. So I managed to get back in here, with the help of some friendly elves. It's good to say hello to all of you, again today. And to be the last to post, I must say!
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Post by Weezer on Feb 1, 2021 22:59:05 GMT -5
Saying hello to Jaila. , yes ive had trouble getting that password was all i had to do too,.
It told me no and i said yes you little pest! try talking to a computer robot gives me lots of unrest! I would not give up ...then all of a sudden im in !! and then at last i have rest.. whew! what we have to go though.!
anywho, Hello my friends, im making this short and sweet Hoping tomorrow we all can meet! Was busy today with lots to do. kitchen floor needed a mopping too. Looks like a new floor! but now i need a new Back too!!
so i took a nap .. along with our 2 cats but later felt the pitter pat of tiny little feet and then whiskers tickling my cheek !!
well so much for that short but sweet nap. need to put on my thinking cap.. then phone rings..From Maine.. jt's hubs sister sounds like they are in for a big northern Snowstorm again!
14"'s of that white fluffy stuff I think it would be time to say , enough is enough! anywho, Its been cold here too but no Snow! not even a flurry ! ho ho ho!!
Well its getting late and im tired and i can;t even see straight! so im saying good night !
Hope to be back tomorrow. Parting is such sweet sorrow.. I feel like Casper the ghost as im the Last always to Post!!!
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Post by 2old on Feb 2, 2021 9:05:26 GMT -5
The forum think's jaila is a robot with an artificial brain And this robotic being is asking if we are insane? Well, Mary Lou and Little Jack Horner and my wife Are accompanying me as we are "livin' the life"!! I was there when Little Jack Horner threw his pie in Jill's face. It was fun to watch Jill roll down the hill at a breakneck pace. About halfway down the hill, Jill's false teeth flew in the air. When Jill lost her blonde wig, I saw she had bright red hair. Close to the bottom of the hill, poor Jill's head hit a big rock. When the ambulance arrived they EMT's found poor Jill was in shock! She was seizing and jerking as if out of her mind. It was like she was having a temper tantrum of some kind. Someone came running down the hill with Jill's blonde wig. It had been found hanging off a tree's branch... barely held there by a twig. Once the blonde wig covered the bright red hair, the anger seemed to subside And with the blonde wig, now Jill was ready for her ambulance ride. Jill is recovering nicely from her tumble down the hill. Since then, she has included me in her will The little old lady who lives in a shoe was the signature witness. She really smells bad... like stinky feet. Oh, my goodness!!! Had mutton for supper, we barbequed Mary's little lamb she took to school. To know that lamb was educated was really, really cool! I felt considerably wiser after eating it, the mutton raised my IQ! All the various voices in my head think they are smarter too! So, I hope this rhyme of fact and logic explains to jaila that I am perfectly sane. To make implications that I might be mentally unfit gives me great pain! My feeling are hurt! Tears are rolling down my face! I'm gonna sit here all day and cry! But, I'm actually smiling because the ladies can't beat me being last... no matter how they try!!!
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Post by Weezer on Feb 2, 2021 15:52:07 GMT -5
Well guess what? , i too could not sign in ! but i knew what to do. i turned off my computer and then came back here and it let me in! so guessing by the hairs on my chinny chin chin ! its just what you carry in that little mouse you use as your tool. its kind of a tell all of of how many cookies you ate while scrolling face-book and looking at all the animals videos and baby videos as i recall.. Then looking for pics of my grands and great grands and my son and all my in laws.. instead of making so many long distant phone calls..! im just so happy i did not have to fight that little sneaky stubborn Robot instead! Or maybe our internet has the covid flew? well im exaggerating , im really not a fool.. you cannot get covid by playing games here too.. i could put a mask on my mouse tho tell it that its only temporary and in time it will never happen whenever i go on-line.. and last of all , im the Last one to post here all the time!!! Attachment Deleted
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Post by 2old on Feb 3, 2021 8:44:53 GMT -5
Good morning! And, just how are you today? Are you ready this awesome Forum Game to play? Let's have fun enjoying posting some prose or a rhyme As we sit here just relaxing, just passing the time!
I was outside, last night, tanning in the sun. Hopping on my bike I went for a long run. Tying tight the laces on my new steel toed shoes I peddled barefoot to go buy a single 15 amp fuse.
Uncertain if 15 amp was large enough fuse to buy But I thought it was a good start... something to try. Evidently I got on my wife's nerves, to me that was news. But she said, "If you don't be quiet, I'm about to blow a fuse!"
With my swim trunks on, I waded through the deep snow As to the hardware store I decided to go. Entering the store, stomping the snow from my bare feet. They asked me to go right back out to the street!
Yes, I had trotted five blocks to perform this vital task Forgetting to being with me my N95 face mask! Standing on the curb in my trucks with bare feet. The snowplow came along, removing snow from the street.
Fearing for the health of the lady of my life I just had to get a fuse for my lovely little wife. Off with the swim trunks and pull them down over my face Back into the hardware store on my bare feet did I race.
As I walked to the counter wearing nothing but my swim trunks over my head I was confident in complying with the mask ordinance but here's what the sales clerk said. "Sir, you should be embarrassed coming into my store undressed... in the nude! Don't you understand your lack of clothes is very, very rude!!"
About that time, I felt a tap on my shoulder and it caused me to turn around. Two police officers were behind me. I was elated that help had been found! "Mr. Policeman, I need your assistance to make this store sell me a fuse right now! My wife is having a medical emergency... She's blowing a fuse! She's having a cow!"
The officers gave me a ride in the backseat of their car. Our home was a few blocks away... not very far. When we arrived, they rushed through the front door, leaving me locked in the backseat. Right inside the door, my lovely wife the officers did meet.
I saw them hand her a pen and she began writing on their pad. Later they told me she signed a statement saying I had gone completely mad. So, I am writing this from a very nice and comfortable padded cell. Suddenly I notice this pungent, rancid awful awful smell.
Evidently something in my swim trunks that were still pulled over my head Smelled as if for years it had rotted after being dead. In agony I ripped and tore those trunks from my face so very fast So I could smell the fresh air while being first to post here last!!!!
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Post by formerlyme on Feb 3, 2021 17:03:20 GMT -5
Here I be...Yes, it is me stopping by to have my say: Being first may be okay, but being LAST makes my day!
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Post by Weezer on Feb 3, 2021 21:42:25 GMT -5
Oh my Cod. 2old im still laughing so hard almost as much as when my mother fell in that bucket of Lard! How on earth can you possibly dream up these stories like some cock-a mammy man turned Mad ? was it something you ate before you went to bed? what on earth was going through your big O'head? Maybe it was something you ate before you went to bed late but then again i have to confess that most times, for me ,it was somethin' i ate.. So lets talk about the weather , anyone ever get any snow? only a dusting is most always what we get , the most we've ever had was an inch and a half or so.. we do however , can get pretty cold at night. have to turn on the electric blanket and hold on tight! i wear socks to bed if its that cold. hubby says those cold feet wakes him up so to be a nice wife, so i had to opine, And agree to wear socks so as to not wake him up , So now he will be just fine. well my mind is going blank so i think i best not stay. tomorrow will be another new day to crochet.. which reminds me, i crocheted a couch pillow cover.. a flag if you will . for my hubby who was in the navy It was a quick and easy pattern , so i know he will like it ...So now maybe i will get something nice for Valentines day?? i always think ahead in my own little way.. Hee-hee heeanywho im last to post and im happy as can be. Cuz I will be back tomorrow... just wait ,, So guess i better brew up a cuppa tea for lil ole me.. and wait and see who will be the last to post ,right after me!! heehee.
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Post by 2old on Feb 3, 2021 22:17:30 GMT -5
Woke up from my nap and was delighted to see A post from the lady known as formerlyme . Her post was concise... short and sweet Indicating that she might be the poster to beat! Then Weezer, known as the Tennessee Flash across the land Posted one of her rhymes showing crochet she turned out by hand. I feel surrounded... the claustrophobia is closing in... I can't breathe! Where have all the ladies come from? My curiosity I must relieve! They are after me! My heart races as I can feel them closing in! I try to make light of them, though unable to raise even a grin. The blinds are all pulled, they will soon be knocking on the door! What can I do? I'm petrified... scared clear to the core! They won't act like ladies and be let me win just because I'm male. It's totally ridiculous... I'm so afraid to win the game I will fail. Never in my life have I been so scared... so afraid. I'm losing all confidence... I'm really dismayed! It may be best if I just give up this foolish game... having to post last. To even think I will lose once again has me totally aghast. It may be impossible for me to handle suffering another defeat. I'm worthless! Someone must take my place! Someone please take my seat! As I sit here typing, Road Runner and Wily Coyote are on the television across the room. Both are my favorites, but I cannot stand to watch them when in a mood so full of gloom. The dog is at my feet, laying there chewing on my big toe. Can't fee a thing, so upset at my failure, I still cannot believe it is so. It's late in the evening, I'm way past due to be in bed. Need to sleep for a while, trying to put this failure out of my head. My confidence is gone! I'm a broken man as I'm last to post on this day. (Don't tell the ladies, but 2old will ALWAYS be first to post last and will return tomorrow to play.)
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Post by Weezer on Feb 5, 2021 12:34:38 GMT -5
Hello all you Last Posters. today i am going to cheat a poem i have found and i find it quite Unique! just hope i have not posted this poem in the past my memory is worsening very fast! Ladies and Gentlemen, hobos and tramps Bug-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants! Im about to tell you a story i've never heard before, So pull up a chair and sit on the floor. Admission is free, so pay at the door. One fine day, in the middle of then night, Two, dead boys got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf Policeman heard the noise, and saved the lives of two dead boys. If you don;t belivemy lies are true, Ask the blind man, he saw it too..!! a little chuckle , that made me laugh was to turn the words backwards this poet knew what to do.. wish he could be here but he would never out do Mr. 2old. Mr. 2old is even more bold! just hope he knows how blessed he is ! and somehow make a book of every hilarious poem exquisitely scripted by him , I just know every post he ever posted would win,,!! well time to reap and a time to sow. now is the time for me to go be back again, cuz i know i can be the the Last to Post , yes i love to Boast!
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Post by 2old on Feb 5, 2021 20:14:33 GMT -5
Weezer, dear, I really enjoy your rhyme. Haven't heard that old one for quite a long time. No idea why people would rhyme and not make a lick of sense When rhymes and prose are to be serious... quite intense.
Everything I post on this thread about being last has no humor! It's factual, serious, with never a word of gossip or rumor. To stretch the truth... to post fiction in lieu of fact Is not something I would do or the moderators would attack!
As I was steering my four wheel drive truck through the church's center aisle I knew I had to speed things up or be arrested and have to appear at my trial. The pastor was standing behind the pulpit, reading from the Holy Book And as I sped past I laid on the horn, hoping he would take a look.
The neighbor lady was there, she had just finished teaching Sunday School. I screeched to a halt near the front most pew as she eyed my truck 'cause it's cool. "Hop in, Neighbor, I will take you for the ride of your life!" She climbed through the window to join me, landing on the lap of my wife!
There wasn't time to see who was sitting on who for I could hear sirens approaching outside. Pedal to the metal, smoking the tires, I was taking the ladies for a ride. The truck flew through the open church door, airborne over the front steps, landing on the sidewalk below With sirens blaring and red light flashing away from the church we did go.
The neighbor lady began screaming, I thought maybe she did not like how I drive. I said "Relax, Gertrude, just hang on and I will deliver you home safe and alive!" One of the police cars passed me on the left, another passed on the right. "Don't worry, ladies, everything is going to turn out alright!"
Hitting the brakes, I spun the truck around, my head hit the steering wheel WHACK! Must have had the truck pegged at 100 miles an hour when every thing suddenly went black. When I woke some time later in a hospital bed, everything I saw was a blur. The pain was intense from my head to my toes... about as much as I could endure.
My nose began to twitch and I tried to lift my arm, wanting scratch the itch that was bothering me. But my hands were chained to the bed rails... I was immobilized don't you see?? At the foot of the bed stood a uniformed police officer with a big pistol hanging from his belt. Intense pain, a nose that is itching, handcuffed to the bed rail... he had no idea how bad I felt!
My wife and neighbor walked through the door and said, "You're the talk of the town!" When we sped down the aisle leaving the church, you ran over a bride in her gown! She was to be married this afternoon, her father was walking her down the aisle. On her special day, she was beautifully adorned, wearing a great big smile.
When you hit your head the truck slowed down. We were all arrested on the spot. One of the policemen saw what was left of the bridal gown, wrapped around your tailpipe in a knot! They are still looking for the bride, she hasn't been found at this time. If they don't find her pretty fast, you will surly be convicted of a crime!
About that time the police officer's phone rang, it was a call from his department head. When he was done he laughed really hard, undid my handcuffs, and I was no longer tied to the bed. He told me my truck was gone... stolen... and I might as well plan on purchasing a different ride. My truck had been spotted heading out of town, the Chief of Police driving with the bride by his side.
So the Chief has eloped with someone else's bride in a truck that belongs to me?? And, I'm still dizzy and in a lot of pain... in no shape at all this hospital bed to flee. They say I'll make a full recovery, in fact I should be back to normal very fast. That will be fine as long as I can type and can be first on TRF to post last!
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Post by Weezer on Feb 8, 2021 23:47:29 GMT -5
well greetings 2old. sounds like a bad dream you had from all your clowning skemes But it made me laugh, as i was watching the Greenbay Packers.. while eating some Cheese and Crackers.!! what a game!! . what fame !!,it was a good game! Brady now is in the hall of fame! of course there was turmoil from the other team was not fair to help them win with esteem !. seems no one now-a-days can do a good deed people helping others to earn a great win! odds of the other team winning was, none to slim.. anywho , i rarely watch football anymore the game i play here is more then what i could ever bargain for !!! This one game is enough for me. i enjoy the peace and tranquility .. Folks are fun and nice to me here and the day will come when we again will try to be last and the Last will finally give in,, so here i am . Last at Last!!
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