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Post by jaila on Jan 7, 2021 21:03:13 GMT -5
Hello again my friends, here at Last to Post 2021.
I've read most of your very funny posts above, though I'm not completely done.
I will read them all again, they are all so amusing which is good.
I need all the humor and friendship, that manage we could!
I am glad I found this useless but friendly and fun forum-game to do. On days that otherwise, might turn blue.
This winter season's been challenging. Heck, this year has been too. Having this forum and this game, adds an additional positive thing for me to do.
2old's suggestion of declaring him the winner, now, is hilarious and note-worthy. While Dusty's plan to not be here, and then winning, made us all topsy-turvy!
And Weezer, are we to believe she hurt her poor toe, If so, let's tie onto it, a soft and colorful BOW !
I didnt realize that Dusty makes gingerbread cakes; Then why arent we all at her house, for goodness sakes!
I will now spend a very happy hour or two. For at this moment, I'm the Last to post, who........
wants to say hello and thanks to every one of you!
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Post by 2old on Jan 8, 2021 7:31:50 GMT -5
Grab your hammers. Grab your tools! Bring along some three-legged stools. Find some nails and find some screws. Grab a saw and some bandages to use. Do you want a nail apron? Or just use the pocket in your jeans. You might need a monkey wrench, if you know what that means. Grab your neighbors, bring them one and bring them all. We are going to construct a building and it'll be really, really tall! How about some ladders to climb towards the sky. Hope you're not afraid of climbing really, really high! I've got the wrenches. You need to bring the bolts. We've got power on site... 115 volts. "Man up, you ladies!", if I may use that phrase. Don't just sit there, we have a building to raise! You ladies get so lazy, just doing laundry and cookin' a little food. You might even vacuum and clean if you get in the mood. Now us men, we are the "worker bees" that can get things done While you ladies sit at home watching tv and having fun. As you noticed just a few days ago... on the last day of last year I even had to let you win this competition to keep you playing here! Oh, my! That's what I get if forced to just begin typing away. I apologize for what I typed. Accept my apology, I pray! Over all our years of marriage, I must admit I could never had done All the hard work my wife accomplished and it sure didn't look like fun! Cleaning and cooking and taking care of the kids when they were near Took a lot more work and organization than I could have ever done, my dear! The ladies in my life... wife, daughters, and those from this discussion board I really appreciate and bow to them, please take me at my word! Y'all are my heroes, you get the accolades... my Gold Star for today. There is only one thing I ask, though, as we move along our way. This old man's mind is muddled, my body broken and worn out It's getting so bad I can barely move about. The only one who likes me anymore is the dog and she is having second thoughts. I can no longer hear and my vision is filled with dark spots. Please, I beg of you, feel sorry for me as this post may be my last So, just cancel this competition, ladies, and allow me to be first in 2021 to post last!!
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Post by Weezer on Jan 8, 2021 14:27:44 GMT -5
Ho ho ho and hee hee hee.. 2old again is looking for sympathy, Bless his heart , he is a man of means, he a man to his wife and seems to be very happy with his long time life..
and so now its just about him and his old dog who we should feel sorry for.. and now he wants us to cancel the next New Year competition? I should stick him with a dozen pins like a pin cushion !!
We have eleven months yet to mull over who will be the first and Last to post. only then will the winner be known to earn the Last to post ,host!!
Well not to change the subject but "baby its cold outside" but then again winter is coming so its best to just stay inside. i think we will be in a for a long, long ride.as Covid 19 has still not died!
anyway, stay home and stay safe, all of you are my Peers, looking forward to keep playing here for many, many years. just a quick reminder . Weezer is the Last to Post. let it be known from coast to coast and happy to boast this post!!
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Post by Weezer on Jan 9, 2021 11:55:01 GMT -5
i came across this funny poem it made me laugh and wanted to make ya'll laugh at home..
A Story i'll tell of a burglar bold Who started to rob a house. He opened the window and then crept in As quiet as a mouse. He looked around for a place to hide "til the folks were all asleep. "and then," said he, "with all their money, 'I'll take a quick sneak."
So under the bed the burglar crept; He crept up close to the wall He didn't know it was the old Maids room Or he wouldn't have the gall. He thought of the money he would steal As under the bed he lay, But a 9 o'clock he saw a sight That made his hair turn gray.
At 9 o'clock the old maid came in; "I;m so tired," she said . She thought that all was well that night So she didn't look under the bed. She took out her teeth and her big glass eye And hair all off her head. The burglar he had forty fits As he watched from under the bed.
From under the bed the burglar crept. He was a total wreck. The old maid wasn't asleep at all And she grabbed him by the neck. She didn't holler, or shout or all. She was cool as a clam. She only said, "The Saints be Praised! At last i got a man,"
From under the pillow a gun she drew And to the burglar she said, "Young man if you don't marry me. I'll blow off the top of your head" She held him firmly by the neck, He hadn't a chance to scoot; He looked at the teeth and the big glass eye. And said" Madam, for Pete's sake shoot ! "
hope it made ya'll smile while i am here to say that im the last one to post today!!
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Post by 2old on Jan 9, 2021 15:21:26 GMT -5
i came across this funny poem it made me laugh and wanted to make ya'll laugh at home.. A Story i'll tell of a burglar bold Who started to rob a house. He opened the window and then crept in As quiet as a mouse. He looked around for a place to hide "til the folks were all asleep. "and then," said he, "with all their money, 'I'll take a quick sneak." So under the bed the burglar crept; He crept up close to the wall He didn't know it was the old Maids room Or he wouldn't have the gall. He thought of the money he would steal As under the bed he lay, But a 9 o'clock he saw a sight That made his hair turn gray. At 9 o'clock the old maid came in; "I;m so tired," she said . She thought that all was well that night So she didn't look under the bed. She took out her teeth and her big glass eye And hair all off her head. The burglar he had forty fits As he watched from under the bed. From under the bed the burglar crept. He was a total wreck. The old maid wasn't asleep at all And she grabbed him by the neck. She didn't holler, or shout or all. She was cool as a clam. She only said, "The Saints be Praised! At last i got a man," From under the pillow a gun she drew And to the burglar she said, "Young man if you don't marry me. I'll blow off the top of your head" She held him firmly by the neck, He hadn't a chance to scoot; He looked at the teeth and the big glass eye. And said" Madam, for Pete's sake shoot ! " hope it made ya'll smile while i am here to say that im the last one to post today!!
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Post by 2old on Jan 9, 2021 21:54:06 GMT -5
Spin the bottle and what do I see? That piece of glass points right back at me! Never at one of the pretty girls who in the circle do sit So I'll just stomp out of the room and throw a fit.
Of course when the spinning bottle points back at me I should not be mad. I should accept it happily! Isn't the bottle supposed to point at the best looking in the game? And that has to be the one named 2old... Yes, that's his name!!
I used to be in movies where my handsome face starred along John Wayne. I sang with Buddy Holley and Richie Valens before they died in the plane. Movie reels were spinning across the globe in theaters far and wide That saw my name in the credits with Debbie Reynolds right beside.
After a while I tired of the applause... of the crowds following me everywhere. I would wake at night and find fans and paparazzi in my windows would stare. My retirement from the celebrity world made headlines on every newspaper front page. Been so many years ago, the newspapers have yellowed with age.
My life has been lived in fear that someday it will be discovered where I hide. That's why my celebrity statues with you I confide Knowing you will keep the secret close and not tell a soul about my past Until I am famous once again by holding the trophy high for being first to post last.
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Post by formerlyme on Jan 13, 2021 15:43:29 GMT -5
I am a woman of few words, and they may not perfectly rhyme. In case you may not have yet heard, I'm often last, from time to time!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2021 16:07:22 GMT -5
I’m the same formerlyme I’m not Rhymer like our other talented members but I still put my two bobs worth in to join in the fun ......after all we CANT let them party without us
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Post by 2old on Jan 13, 2021 19:49:27 GMT -5
Well, look here! The ladies are coming outta the woodwork. They must be plotting my chain to jerk! Well I will keep silent... I won't dare reply For they cannot win this year, no matter how hard they try!
I'm typing this rhyme using invisible ink. They won't be able to see it and, about my post, raise a stink! Using the ink that disappears as soon as it's there in black and white I will know it'll be gone by morning, no longer in sight.
This ink is special I use for my rhymes. It was developed in ancient times. History books tell us it was invented in the year 1642 And been used in computers all through the years... that's true.
I've become forgetful... the years have muddled my brain. Some might suggest I'm "losing it"... going insane. My social security does not pay enough to support my wife and me. I've begun to rob banks to supplement my income, don't you see.
Was almost caught red-handed after a bank robbery when I needed some cash. The penalty if convicted could have been quite rash. When leaving the bank I dropped the hold up note on the bank lobby floor And a customer saw it just as I was escaping through the front door.
He gave it to the police who checked for fingerprints and DNA Which didn't match any of my multiple personalities so I got away. That made me nervous, I came so close to ending up in the clink When I thought about using this disappearing ink.
Now if in my forgetful state, I drop another note on the floor The writing will disappear before I make it through the door. Everyone will think it is just litter that has blown in from the street And won't suspect me as in my getaway car I take a seat.
So, if you open this post and everything is all blank It's my bank robbery career that is to thank. Woops! I just got a notification saying my inkwell is going empty too fast So I better sign off... AGAIN being first to post last!
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Post by Weezer on Jan 13, 2021 20:52:07 GMT -5
My dear friend Mr, 20ld , with your talent to Rhyme. there is no fear you'll ever disappear. We all know you well enough, that you must not ever take any guff or fluff..
we are here to protect you , at least i know i am. To me your worth a million bucks and i have a thought in mind,, You do the writings and i will gladly sell your hilarious stories in no time..!! and i would make an offer, you cannot decline..
I know someone who can make you rich, by selling your stories it would be better then digging a ditch and i know how you could live being rich,
it would enable you to run for president, or be the head of the corporate glitch,, Just think of how much you would be worth, you could become the richest man on earth!!
your name in lights, your gray hair dyed and shining bright! oh what a wonderful time you could have ,you and your bride and little doggie too, think of taking a long vacation ride..
Oh wait, i hear someone calling my name? My gosh , its my husband , it all must of been a dream but it seemed so real. i wanted you to be famous and rich@ .. never ever again would you have to dig a ditch..
well its back to reality and here iam again, came only here to win the last to post again, something seems to happend when ever i appear. its like im in another world every time i come here,,
guess im as silly as Casper the Friendly Ghost. , anywho, one thing is for real , im her to steal the Last To Post, Miss Weezer is at the wheel!!
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Post by 2old on Jan 15, 2021 9:24:39 GMT -5
From 2005 to 2007 I was in Paris for that time. I'll tell my Paris story in this informative rhyme. My hotel was quite cozy, the ambience I adored. There was so much to do, there, I was never bored.
While living in Paris, the "Red Light District" I never tried to find. For what I might have found there, my heart just never pined. I never found the street bistros, I've heard are sublime. My meals I just ate in my hotel room almost all the time.
While in Paris, I did have some fun, playing golf in Mexico. I try to take my clubs with me, most anywhere I go. When the family came to visit me in Paris... at least once during my stay We traveled to Florida and had a simply wonderful day.
Yes, the memories of those couple years while in Paris... close to Florida and Mexico Were a fantastic experience I would like everyone to know. The water plant we constructed is still operating and serving many fine folk. I just don't want you to think my being all these places is some silly joke.
Pull out your atlas... or Google Maps will do just fine and engage On the map of the State of Missouri, feast your eyes on that page. In the very northeast corner, you will find Hannibal... known for Mark Twain fame. Travel west on 36, then south on 24 to see the town with Paris as its name.
South of Paris on Highway 15, is Mexico you will find if you look. East of Paris is Florida, birthplace of Mark Twain who wrote many a book. Now I doubt that Paris, Missouri even had a "Red Light District", was a quaint little town. And to that entire area, the writings of Mark Twain has brought significant renown.
The water treatment plant took its water from, yes, Mark Twain Lake. It was fun, though, to tell folks I was living in Paris for goodness sake. So a seasoned traveler such as I who spent time in Paris, Florida, and Mexico Is the one who will post last... that fact I am letting you know!!
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Post by Weezer on Jan 15, 2021 20:32:04 GMT -5
Well what do you know, Mr, 2old. My hubby worked at a Water Treatment Plant in Maine home of the rich and the mostly of the fame .. there was Johnny Carson and Martha Stewart and Steven King all of them wearing their bling bling and more bling!! Their Yachts in the harbor, bigger then no other.. seagulls, and fresh saltwater with big waves chasing each other,, but let me explain, this beautiful water plant. no, its not the a living growing plant , that it ain't not! it what 2old masterly built in Paris, florida from what he wrote.. Hubby loved his job there, and the money was good and he got to be next to the ocean , he loved that alot.. the 20+years we lived there was great, if we could we would go back there. but we are no longer working and now on a seniors income. but hubs has family there so pictures keep coming in,, the only thing we did not like were the long cold and snowy winters . which kept us mostly in,, but i recall our wood stove, i actually miss it.. loved to sit by the fire and crochet , almost wishing i could be there again, but we moved south to retire, could not longer afford the expense in Maine. its not for the poor. but between us we made enough money to move and so here we are our home that we love.. it barely snows here , And yes the long hot summers keep the air con busy but Hey, we are happy and healthy and that's all that matters..!! If only now i can keep my last post posted long enough til end of this year, it will be Weezer you will hear Yelling "Im Last, im the Last to post this year" in your ear!!
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Post by 2old on Jan 16, 2021 18:19:05 GMT -5
Went to the library, this afternoon, to get a book. Finally found the section where I wanted to look. The selection was very disappointing to me When I couldn't find "Roadrunner and Wily Coyote"!
No "Mighty Mouse"... with his "Here I come to save the day!" Followed by, "Mighty Mouse is on the way!" No "Little Orphan Annie" or "Goofy and Pluto". What ever happened to "Dick Tracy"... Where did he go?
Had to return home with noting of quality to read. Nothing with pictures... Headed home with great speed. Without quality books to look through... what do I do? Guess just watch repeats of "Captain Kangaroo"!
I've no artistic talent so cannot draw my own comic books. Guess I'll have to learn to type and communicate with lots of kooks Like those who try to compete with each other on an internet discussion board Playing a game only 2old can win... He'll be last to post or fall on his sword!!
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Post by Weezer on Jan 18, 2021 18:51:17 GMT -5
WEll, Dang! 2old. you broke the spell of Weezer ever being the Last to tell how she is the Last to post this another year of Covid 19 , i fear..! its hard to play a game knowing your never to be last with all the fame from playing this old famous Last to post Game! I have a plan up my sleeve, im sure it will work. An idea i had a dream about telling me all the in's and out's! He mentioned 2old and sometimes Kaily and Dusty as well, soon i will have a story to tell And of my dream as well about how Miss Weezer. somehow won the game was overjoyed with her famous winners name! but suddenly , she seemed distrought, seems she only had a dream she thought.,. poor weezer, But lets not tease her,,Try to be kind and pretend we know nothing of her dream try to be nice to her or my name ain't Weezer!!!
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Post by 2old on Jan 18, 2021 22:24:41 GMT -5
Well, heck! Miss Weezer says I'm not to tease her! So, I guess I can't be a Weezer teaser geezer!!! Let me put you ladyzzz at ease My charge is not to tease!!!
2old has one purpose in mind with his prose and rhyme And that is to be first to post last this time. My fingers were tired and I was a little rusty Getting beat out for the 2020 trophy by none other than Dusty!
jaila and others chime in from time to time Churning out perfect rhyme after rhyme. We're not even 20 days into 2021 today And 2old is serious... 2old isn't here to just play!
My dander is up! The 2020 loss has my mind in an aggravated state. I'm still wondering how I ever floundered and didn't stay up late On New Years Eve and claim the prize that should have been awarded to me. My life is a shambles! After that loss, I'll never recover my dignity!!
They are talking about locking me in a padded room if I cannot get control! I have to win! I cannot suffer a loss! That's just how I roll! The loss is affecting my golf game... I can't even hit the ball straight! My buddies are taking my quarters and laughing at me... It's a horrible fate!
So the 'teasing' is done! I'm getting serious! You won't beat me this year! The dog and I have had a long conversation as I've spoken directly in her ear. She nods her head as she understands my disappointment... she even sheds a tear As she and I visit and strategize, the dog wants me to make one thing clear!
We'll be working together, the dog and I, as a team and are sure to bring home the win! In fact, we will win in 2021 and the next year we will win once again! Her paws are a little larger than these fingers of mine So, when it's her turn to type, you may notice a sign.
She may hit a couple keys at once but deal with it! You better not make fun of her! When we visited just a while ago, she made it clear she was part human and not all cur! Just a moment, please, while I blow the hair off the keyboard on my laptop and clean slobbers off the screen. Yes! We are both here to promise you we will be first to post last... or things will get very, very mean!!!!
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