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Post by Bob on Jan 18, 2018 20:53:38 GMT -5
I suspect we have a range of ages who participate on this forum, but I know at least some of us have grandkids. As I've mentioned in other threads, my two grandchildren live overseas and it is unlikely their mother will ever let them come over here to visit anytime in the next several years. So, we maintain contact a few different ways. Certainly there are Facetime chats, usually about every two weeks. It's tough sometimes to get them to talk at first, but they genuinely seem used to seeing us on the computer screen. Also, we have been recording videos of stories for them. My wife usually does the reading while I hold the camera. We have recorded and then posted to YouTube some 156 stories and counting. They're not "public" so no one can stumble across them. This way they can have a story from us anytime they like.
I got to thinking that I would like to try recording an oral history for them and found this proposed list of questions on the website Senior.com. Some good stuff here. Anyone ever done something like this? My sister did one of these years ago with my late grandmother and I have it on DVD. Anyway, here are the questions. They'll make you think.
Interview Questions:
Were you named after somebody else?
What was it like for you to grow up in the 20s/30s etc.?
What do you remember about your childhood?
What kind of house did you live in when you were a child?
What is your fondest memory?
Can you share anything about your family’s heritage or name origin?
Do you remember your grandparents or great-grandparents? What do you know about them?
What are some family holiday traditions you remember as a kid?
Who was the oldest person you can remember in your family as a child? What do you remember about them?
Was there a chore you really hated doing as a child?
What would you consider to be the most important inventions that have been made during your lifetime?
How is the world now different from what it was like when you were a child?
What kinds of books did you like to read?
Do you ever remember not having enough food to eat because times were tough?
What were your favorite toys and what were they like?
What were your schools like? How did you get there?
Did you and your friends have a special hang-out where you liked to spend time?
Were you ever given any special awards for your studies or school activities?
How many years of education have you completed and where did you attend?
Were there any fads during your youth that you remember vividly?
How old were you when you started dating?
How did you meet your spouse? Can you tell us about your first date?
Describe your wedding ceremony. Who was there? Date and Place?
Tell us about your honeymoon.
What wise advice would you give your grandchildren about marriage?
What did you find the most difficult about raising children?
What did you find the most rewarding about being a parent?
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
What was your first job?
How did you decide your career?
What were the hardest life choices that you ever had to make?
Who was the person that had the most positive influence on your life? Who were they and what did they do?
Tell us about your military service.
What social changes in the U.S. were difficult for you? How did they impact you?
What major illnesses or health problems do you remember having?
What part of your faith would you like to pass along to your grandchildren?
What activities have you especially enjoyed as an adult?
Where have you traveled and what was the best trip?
Is there anything you have always wanted to do, but haven’t?
What did you learn from your mother?
What did you learn from your father?
Tell us about your proudest moment(s)?
What is the most frightened you’ve ever been?
What parent are you most like and why?
What political or historical event has had the most impact on you personally?
What is your earliest memory?
If you could go back and change one thing about your life, what would it be?
What has provided you the greatest satisfaction in life and why?
What was your first impression of your spouse/partner the first time you met?
What was your proudest moment as a parent?
Which of your children is most like you and why?
What was the most exciting day of your life?
What is the one thing you’d like people to remember about you?
How has the world changed since you were young?
Does the idea of death frighten you? Why or why not?
What life event damaged you the most?
What life event strengthened you the most?
How do you feel about money?
Did you have conflicts with your parents as a teenager? What were they?
What is your greatest talent?
What talent do you wish you had that has eluded you?
What is your greatest weakness?
What is the most important object you own and why?
What do you wish you could change about your education?
What invention during your lifetime has had the greatest impact on you personally?
If there is one piece of wisdom you could pass on to your descendants, what would it be?
What could you not live without in your life?
How would you like to be remembered?
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Post by nkat on Jan 19, 2018 0:04:10 GMT -5
That is a lot of questions Bob. My granddtrs live down the street from me and I watch them 3 days a week.
Can you not go visit them?
NKat
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Post by Kady on Jan 19, 2018 6:53:57 GMT -5
I think it is wonderful that you are bonding with your grandchildren under a difficult situation
and you can be sure that your son and the grandchildren will appreciate it.
We have found a 'Grandma' book that one of the grandchildren bought for my mother with a question
for her to answer each day about her life, when she was growing up.....questions similar to the ones you posted...we are now passing this book around and reading about her early life.
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Post by highlandannie on Jan 19, 2018 7:07:54 GMT -5
My granddaughters live in Michigan and I'm in Scotland. We visit Michigan for a month every summer, but don't get to see them as much as we used to since my son and his wife divorced. Last summer we rented a house near Lake Michigan and all spent a week together with son and the girls. Doing the same this summer
It's tough missing out on watching them grow up. I've been Skyping since the oldest was born, but it's not the same.
As for the questions, my sister once gave my grandmother a book to fill in about her life. It's very interesting.
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Post by QuickSilver on Jan 19, 2018 7:21:37 GMT -5
Sometimes distance is not the only barrier. My grandkids live about 30 miles from me. However, I can only see them three or four times a year for a 4 or 5 hour visit when my son brings them to see me. I cannot visit them at their house as I am not allowed there, nor would I wish to go.. My Daughter in Law and I have not spoken in 7 years.
Paternal grandparents would to better to accept a simple fact.. You are NOT going to get the same access to your grandchildren as maternal grandparents do.. particularly the maternal grandmother. Your access to your grandkids is directly connected to the access your daughter in law chooses to give you. SHE is the keeper of the grandchild gate. Your son will likely acquiesce to her wishes in order to "keep the peace" in his home. If you have a good relationship with your DIL.. you will have more access.. If she is a raving bit@h... you will have little access or none at all.. Fact of life there...
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Post by Bob on Jan 19, 2018 8:48:32 GMT -5
That is a lot of questions Bob. My granddtrs live down the street from me and I watch them 3 days a week. Can you not go visit them? NKat We were there last in 2015, but since then we've had a serious falling out with our daughter-in-law which complicates things in terms of visiting. We're hoping to go over again this year depending on finances, considering the new house. Unfortunately, our daughter-in-law is a very unpleasant person and she has some emotional issues. She told us last year that she didn't wish to have any contact with us. So, we have a relationship from afar. |
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Post by Bob on Jan 19, 2018 8:52:46 GMT -5
Your access to your grandkids is directly connected to the access your daughter in law chooses to give you. SHE is the keeper of the grandchild gate. Your son will likely acquiesce to her wishes in order to "keep the peace" in his home. If you have a good relationship with your DIL.. you will have more access.. If she is a raving bit@h... you will have little access or none at all.. Fact of life there...
Read more: takerefuge.freeforums.net/post/87864/edit#ixzz54dfYhZFL
So true, unfortunately. She won't let our son take one of the kids over here to visit because she's afraid of terrorism (that was the last excuse). So, if we go over this year we'll rent an apartment nearby and have the kids overnight with us a few times. It's sad, but we're making the best of it. I thought the questions above would be a good way for them to continue to know us as the years go by. |
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Post by QuickSilver on Jan 19, 2018 9:27:08 GMT -5
Your access to your grandkids is directly connected to the access your daughter in law chooses to give you. SHE is the keeper of the grandchild gate. Your son will likely acquiesce to her wishes in order to "keep the peace" in his home. If you have a good relationship with your DIL.. you will have more access.. If she is a raving bit@h... you will have little access or none at all.. Fact of life there...
Read more: takerefuge.freeforums.net/post/87864/edit#ixzz54dfYhZFL
So true, unfortunately. She won't let our son take one of the kids over here to visit because she's afraid of terrorism (that was the last excuse). So, if we go over this year we'll rent an apartment nearby and have the kids overnight with us a few times. It's sad, but we're making the best of it. I thought the questions above would be a good way for them to continue to know us as the years go by.
However, that said, I realize that you and your wife have not reached that point.. and you really care about this with all your hearts.. I think your list of questions is wonderful and is a good idea. I might borrow them and jot down my answers and give them to my grandkids the next time they are here.. Maybe they will be interested.. maybe not. |
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Post by nkat on Jan 19, 2018 11:49:49 GMT -5
I never realized how lucky I am in seeing my girls but I am the maternal grandmother. I have watched them since they have been 3 months old, now they are 9 -and 13.
Bob, where do your grandkids live?
NKat
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Post by Bob on Jan 19, 2018 14:40:53 GMT -5
I never realized how lucky I am in seeing my girls but I am the maternal grandmother. I have watched them since they have been 3 months old, now they are 9 -and 13. Bob, where do your grandkids live? NKat , , our grandkids live over in England, outside of west of Manchester. Long journey to get to see them. Our son married a British woman. We've been over to see them four times thus far. We'd have likely gone last year or in 2016, except for my wife's issues with her knee. Hoping we can arrange it this year, late in the summer, ideally when our DIL is back at university so she'll be gone during the day. It's an expensive trip in a year when we're also moving into a new house. I think back to my relationship with my grandparents. I hardly had any relationship with my paternal grandparents, in part because they didn't seem to desire one; they were cold and distant, a product of their upbringing. My maternal grandparents were much closer to us and even lived in our house for a time. Still, I wish I'd gotten to know them better. You don't realize how much you miss out until they're gone. I recall many years ago having a fascinating discussion with my wife's grandparents, who fled the Nazis as Hitler came to power. They were lucky to get out and came to this country nothing, but built a life here. What fascinating stories they told as they laid side by side on a bed with us sitting on the floor talking to them. Wish I'd had the chance to record it. I may not ever have the relationship I hoped for with my grandkids due to the distance, but I'll be damn sure they know where they came from and all about this side of the family. Even though they're young, I've told them about my parents and my wife's parents. As I noted in another thread, after my FIL died I wrote them a long letter to tell them just what kind of person he was. I like to think that someday that kind of info will help them be closer with us. |
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Post by nkat on Jan 19, 2018 17:20:59 GMT -5
Bob, I could see being afraid of attacks if you lived in NYCity, California or Florida but not where you live.
My dd was working in England and that was when I got to fly over and see her before she was married. Was an expensive trip, at least I stayed with her in a Hugh home on the same street as a castle. When I went to the bathroom, I kept on thinking please don't let me see a ghost in the middle of the night!
My 2 grandfathers were deceased and my one grandmother before I was born. My only living grandmother died when I was 10. This has prompted me to be extremely close to my gd's. Their paternal grandmother may see them twice a year, she lives about 2 hrs away.
OBTW, like England has not been attacked!
NKat
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2018 17:36:53 GMT -5
I get to see my grandsons every two weeks and at holidays. My son is their father. They don't see their maternal grandparents often. My DIL is not close with her parents.
I never knew my grandparents and my kids only knew their maternal grandmother but didn't see her more than once every 2 or 3 years. She lived in another state.
I'm sad that you don't see your grandchildren often. I enjoy my grandsons (identical twins aged 7) so much. I just love to have them come over.
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Post by highlandannie on Jan 19, 2018 19:20:16 GMT -5
Sometimes distance is not the only barrier. My grandkids live about 30 miles from me. However, I can only see them three or four times a year for a 4 or 5 hour visit when my son brings them to see me. I cannot visit them at their house as I am not allowed there, nor would I wish to go.. My Daughter in Law and I have not spoken in 7 years.
Paternal grandparents would to better to accept a simple fact.. You are NOT going to get the same access to your grandchildren as maternal grandparents do.. particularly the maternal grandmother. Your access to your grandkids is directly connected to the access your daughter in law chooses to give you. SHE is the keeper of the grandchild gate. Your son will likely acquiesce to her wishes in order to "keep the peace" in his home. If you have a good relationship with your DIL.. you will have more access.. If she is a raving bit@h... you will have little access or none at all.. Fact of life there...
We had planned for years that when the oldest was 12 she'd spend a month with us in Scotland. But they split up when she was 11. She wasn't crazy about the idea anyway. Now we are proposing that summer after next that son and daughters come for 2 weeks, but we don't know if she can be forced to allow them to visit outside of the US. She did mention before she was afraid he'd take the girls and stay in Scotland. She's too stupid to know he can't just do that - it's illegal.
Oh, and I'm the only grandmother. Her mother died when she was 18. |
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Post by Bob on Jan 19, 2018 20:47:35 GMT -5
What I like about the list of questions and creating a video for the kids, is that as they get older this will mean something to them. Who knows, it might be something they show their kids long after we're gone. I'll do this in short videos like we do with our stories for them.
I think we're fortunate that our DIL doesn't seem to be actively trying to poison them against us. I just know that she'll make it difficult for us to see them on our terms. She did tell us we could come over and take them on holiday to Centre Parcs (a place she chose because she knows it has lots of activities for them), but she wouldn't allow us to say rent a home somewhere and take them with us for a week. I have a dream of taking my son and grandson on a road trip up through Scotland one day. Maybe in a few years while I'm still young enough to do it and my grandson is old enough to enjoy such an adventure.
When I do this video series, I'll report back on how it's been received. In the meantime, we'll keep on with the the stories for them and keep making memories that they'll always have of us, even if we're not physically present in their lives.
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Post by highlandannie on Jan 19, 2018 21:02:09 GMT -5
What I like about the list of questions and creating a video for the kids, is that as they get older this will mean something to them. Who knows, it might be something they show their kids long after we're gone. I'll do this in short videos like we do with our stories for them. I think we're fortunate that our DIL doesn't seem to be actively trying to poison them against us. I just know that she'll make it difficult for us to see them on our terms. She did tell us we could come over and take them on holiday to Centre Parcs (a place she chose because she knows it has lots of activities for them), but she wouldn't allow us to say rent a home somewhere and take them with us for a week. I have a dream of taking my son and grandson on a road trip up through Scotland one day. Maybe in a few years while I'm still young enough to do it and my grandson is old enough to enjoy such an adventure. When I do this video series, I'll report back on how it's been received. In the meantime, we'll keep on with the the stories for them and keep making memories that they'll always have of us, even if we're not physically present in their lives.
Last summer the oldest one (12) was about 2 inches taller than me. Made me want to cry because I feel I missed so much of her growing up.
Son used to ask us to move to Michigan so I'd have more time with granddaughter (there was only 1 then). I finally stopped him asking when I mentioned healthcare and the costs. |
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