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Why???
Dec 11, 2021 22:13:28 GMT -5
Post by 2old on Dec 11, 2021 22:13:28 GMT -5
The husband of one of my wife's good friends is close to death. They have hospice coming to the home, trying to allow him to see Christmas before moving him to the local hospice facility. Basically, they are treating the pain and trying to keep him comfortable at home.
Today is their 61st wedding anniversary. She and my wife visited quite a while this afternoon. One of their sons is extremely anti-vax. With the declining health of the father, his mother will not allow him to visit. She cannot see either of them living with the situation if he were to expose his ill father and hasten his death. The son has been extremely angry at his mother. He's hung up a couple times when calling and her still refusing to have him visit unvaccinated. She has even relented and suggested if he were to be tested before visiting, perhaps that would work. He won't even do that. He swears this entire pandemic is a hoax and cannot understand why people won't admit it is.
We have seen families broken apart by the conspiracies and lies of the far right. Politics has pitted brother against brother, neighbor against neighbor, and broken long term friendships. I cannot believe it has gone so far that a grown man would rather sacrifice the ability to see his father before he passes than to give up his loyalty to Trump. I'm sure he will always blame his mother for not allowing him to visit, while the fault lies with himself.
This lady is 80. She is physically and mentally exhausted from caring for her husband during the past few months. As strong as she has been, she does not need the added pressure of the son making things even more difficult. Makes me even more irate at this base of MAGA loyalists and what they are doing.
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Post by Drifter on Dec 11, 2021 23:42:39 GMT -5
What a shame, 2old. IMO, she is doing the right thing and commend her for it! At her age and what she is trying to do for her husband, I don't blame her one bit for not letting the son visit.
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Post by 2old on Dec 12, 2021 7:18:37 GMT -5
This lady has never been with someone when they die. She is so afraid her husband will die at home... "And what do I do?" This is when the son should be a support to his mother, not another load for her to carry.
We live about 4 blocks from them. Wife and I have told her to call us any time day or night and we will be there in minutes. At this time, they don't plan a celebration of life or any formal service. If that changes, the son better not show up unmasked and with a chip on his shoulder. It will be difficult for me to not distinctly ask him what his excuse is for being such a pathetic piece of trash at the time his mother and father really needed him.
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Why???
Dec 12, 2021 18:01:35 GMT -5
Post by formerlyme on Dec 12, 2021 18:01:35 GMT -5
This is a very sad situation 2old , and all too common in these covid days. The misinformation and conspiracy theories of the Trumpsters and far right have twisted the thinking of the gullible/fearful, dividing families and ending friendships.
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Post by tnthomas on Dec 16, 2021 13:34:51 GMT -5
We have seen families broken apart by the conspiracies and lies of the far right. Very sad, who knew that such a monstrous scheme to twist reality would be upon our culture. The misinformation and conspiracy theories of the Trumpsters and far right have twisted the thinking of the gullible/fearful, dividing families and ending friendships. I've lost several friends and a couple family members to this broken state of mind, for many there will be no coming back...
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Why???
Dec 16, 2021 18:55:42 GMT -5
Post by nkat on Dec 16, 2021 18:55:42 GMT -5
That son is one big idiot. Even if I did not believe in the shots, I would of gotten them to be with my dad.
Nkat
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Post by louie on Dec 18, 2021 22:24:08 GMT -5
I'm so sorry to read this. I thought I'd pop in and see how everyone was doing. This makes me so sad. We are in a similar situation. Since I am my hubby's caregiver, we apply our rules. No indoor visits unless vaccinated and with boosters AND a rapid test prior to visiting. A person is welcome to visit my husband while sitting on the porch and talking through a window. They can use a phone too. And his daughter and family are unvaxxers. I doubt they will visit from the porch in the winter. And now we have no rural hospitals with beds and the ER's are full ...and Omicron has not hit quite yet. I hope 2old that you can help this poor lady out. I've sat with my FIL and MIL as they died and it the arrangements afterwards are the hardest. Stay well.
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Why???
Dec 19, 2021 5:47:13 GMT -5
Post by 2old on Dec 19, 2021 5:47:13 GMT -5
I'm so sorry to read this. I thought I'd pop in and see how everyone was doing. This makes me so sad. We are in a similar situation. Since I am my hubby's caregiver, we apply our rules. No indoor visits unless vaccinated and with boosters AND a rapid test prior to visiting. A person is welcome to visit my husband while sitting on the porch and talking through a window. They can use a phone too. And his daughter and family are unvaxxers. I doubt they will visit from the porch in the winter. And now we have no rural hospitals with beds and the ER's are full ...and Omicron has not hit quite yet. I hope 2old that you can help this poor lady out. I've sat with my FIL and MIL as they died and it the arrangements afterwards are the hardest. Stay well. In today's world of technology, we do have means of communicating without sitting next to each other. "FaceTime", etc. allows people to communicate digitally as if in the same room. It sounds like you are doing the right thing and keeping the unvaxxers away from your hubby. As my wife and I gain years, we see many who have not had to deal with being in the same room as someone passes... and dealing with calling the mortuary, assisting with notifications, cleaning up legal issues such as finding wills and dealing with final expenses. My wife commented the other day, she has been in the room as seven people have passed. Today's use of hospice care has taken the burden of the physical dealing with death away from so many. We have a wonderful hospice facility in our community. If there is such a thing as making death of a loved one "easier", they are committed to that task. You are an "angel on Earth" as you care for your hubby. I know he understands how blessed he is to have you supporting him during these difficult times. You certainly don't need the added pressure of the unvaxxed daughter's family, but life sometimes puts us in some difficult situations. We have that to deal with during he next week or two. One of the son-in-laws and the two grandsons are not vaccinated. How do we deal with that getting family together for Christmas??? I believe we are close to deciding how this will be handled. There will be some anger and frustration as we "announce" our plans. With the current rise in cases in our area, this is not the time to just play nice.
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Why???
Dec 20, 2021 7:40:20 GMT -5
Post by louie on Dec 20, 2021 7:40:20 GMT -5
One of the son-in-laws and the two grandsons are not vaccinated. How do we deal with that getting family together for Christmas??? I believe we are close to deciding how this will be handled. There will be some anger and frustration as we "announce" our plans. With the current rise in cases in our area, this is not the time to just play nice. Face time doesn't really do much for my hubby. He likes to see folks in person and perks up quite well. I DO try and get his daughter to set up a Facebook Portal call regularly but she is tooooooo busy to do so. I even punch her number in and hand the phone to hubby. She has told me over and over that her dad just needed to 'get over it' [depression] and she thought he was a bit of a drama queen. Truthfully I imagine her father was a difficult dad and perhaps this is easy for her. Sadly it isn't easy for him. I hope you have a good Christmas.
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