Post by SirFurryanimalWales on Dec 6, 2019 2:19:04 GMT -5
Here is one I wrote earlier
Death by a Thousand Voices
Dai the Squint-so called because his eyes were too close together -was restless up in Treorchy.The fat cats in Cardiff were getting too big for their boots and had removed the sheep subsidy that gave everyone a new lamb to fatten up every year.He decided Cardiff must be taken down.Then Bristol.He hated Bristol.
He mused over a fiendish plan and called together the choir masters of South Wales.They were to form a choir 1000 strong ,led by a huge fire breathing dragon called Bertha.Bertha had seen better days and was once married to Dai the Sqiunts brother known as Morgan the Sheep.Morgan owned a sheep farm in the Beacons and was always strangely happy.No one doubted why.
Anyway it was decided to March on Cardiff bay on June 22nd which was Summer in Wales in 2016.They all wore fleece and had lunch provided by Jones the Butcher consisting of some delicious sausage rolls and his unique recipe pasties passed down over one generation of his family.They had beacons lit to show the way in case it got dark before their arrival.And they had a repertoire of songs guaranteed to force anyone to surrender screaming.And Jones the Butcher had recruited a young freedom fighter from Minsk.Which he thought was in North Wales,near Rhyl.
They marched down the valley stopping at only 47 pubs to quench their thirst while Bertha and Elena -from Minsk near North Wales -bonded in a way that would have caused apoplexy for Queen Victoria,
By the time they arrived at the Assembly building it was teatime and before battle commenced it was decided they better eat the sausage rolls and pasties.Then they launched into Yma o Hyd a rousing song that drew crowds to their cause before they launched into the Birdie Song followed by Eggs,Sausage ,Chips and Beans(the song not the delicacy from Berthas Cafe),followed by the Theme to Shaun the Sheep and Bob the Builder.Then the Coup de Gras.Elena was a fire eater on the side and she began to breath fire,accidentally setting fire to a nearby seagull. before the choir launched into Vogon Poetry set to the tune of Delilah ,a little ditty about a murder.Anyone not Vogon was guaranteed to leave the Assembly building screaming ready to cave into all demands.Figures appeared at the window ,etched in pain as if a flogging was in progress,hands held to ears.Then the moaning started and then evil piercing screams as everyone came out of the building pleading for it to stop.But the choirs kept singing as Elena set herself alight in an act of defiance.And as they sang the assembly members began to fall -gasping for breath as the choir got louder and Elena threw herself in the bay to put herself out.Before long they were all dead.
It was death by a thousand voices and the choir set off for England.Bristol beware.
Edit ยท
Death by a Thousand Voices
Dai the Squint-so called because his eyes were too close together -was restless up in Treorchy.The fat cats in Cardiff were getting too big for their boots and had removed the sheep subsidy that gave everyone a new lamb to fatten up every year.He decided Cardiff must be taken down.Then Bristol.He hated Bristol.
He mused over a fiendish plan and called together the choir masters of South Wales.They were to form a choir 1000 strong ,led by a huge fire breathing dragon called Bertha.Bertha had seen better days and was once married to Dai the Sqiunts brother known as Morgan the Sheep.Morgan owned a sheep farm in the Beacons and was always strangely happy.No one doubted why.
Anyway it was decided to March on Cardiff bay on June 22nd which was Summer in Wales in 2016.They all wore fleece and had lunch provided by Jones the Butcher consisting of some delicious sausage rolls and his unique recipe pasties passed down over one generation of his family.They had beacons lit to show the way in case it got dark before their arrival.And they had a repertoire of songs guaranteed to force anyone to surrender screaming.And Jones the Butcher had recruited a young freedom fighter from Minsk.Which he thought was in North Wales,near Rhyl.
They marched down the valley stopping at only 47 pubs to quench their thirst while Bertha and Elena -from Minsk near North Wales -bonded in a way that would have caused apoplexy for Queen Victoria,
By the time they arrived at the Assembly building it was teatime and before battle commenced it was decided they better eat the sausage rolls and pasties.Then they launched into Yma o Hyd a rousing song that drew crowds to their cause before they launched into the Birdie Song followed by Eggs,Sausage ,Chips and Beans(the song not the delicacy from Berthas Cafe),followed by the Theme to Shaun the Sheep and Bob the Builder.Then the Coup de Gras.Elena was a fire eater on the side and she began to breath fire,accidentally setting fire to a nearby seagull. before the choir launched into Vogon Poetry set to the tune of Delilah ,a little ditty about a murder.Anyone not Vogon was guaranteed to leave the Assembly building screaming ready to cave into all demands.Figures appeared at the window ,etched in pain as if a flogging was in progress,hands held to ears.Then the moaning started and then evil piercing screams as everyone came out of the building pleading for it to stop.But the choirs kept singing as Elena set herself alight in an act of defiance.And as they sang the assembly members began to fall -gasping for breath as the choir got louder and Elena threw herself in the bay to put herself out.Before long they were all dead.
It was death by a thousand voices and the choir set off for England.Bristol beware.
Edit ยท