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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2019 16:41:56 GMT -5
This farmers wife prayed to the Lord and asked him, “How old will I be when I die?”
His reply was 96 years old.
She said, “Hot diggity dog, I will have myself fixed up.”
She had everything lifted and tucked and was in the doctor’s office, making the last payment on her reconstruction. She walked out of the doctor’s office, started across the street, and was hit and killed.
She gets to heaven and asks the Lord, “What happened? You told me that I would live to be 96.”
His reply: “We’ll I just didn’t recognize you!”
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2019 16:42:55 GMT -5
The old man was sitting on the examining table in the doctor’s office having his hearing checked. The doctor poked his light scope in the old man’s ear and said, “Hey, you have a suppository in your ear!” “Rats,” said the old man. “Now I know where my hearing aid went.”
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2019 16:46:57 GMT -5
“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?” The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
From A Prairie Home Companion
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2019 16:48:41 GMT -5
After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. Halfway across, he’s startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone. “I thought you were a ghost,” says the relieved teen. “What are you doing working so late?” “Oh, those idiots,” grumbles the old man. “They misspelled my name!”
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2019 16:49:54 GMT -5
While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. “It’s taped under the modem,” I told him. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”
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Post by formerlyme on Oct 5, 2019 17:12:31 GMT -5
I'm loving these, @rubyk.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2020 17:01:37 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2020 17:02:35 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2020 17:05:08 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2020 17:06:38 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2020 17:07:49 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2020 17:10:02 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2020 17:11:13 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2020 17:12:09 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2020 17:13:11 GMT -5
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