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Post by ruby on Dec 4, 2020 20:44:08 GMT -5
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Post by ruby on Dec 4, 2020 20:45:55 GMT -5
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Post by ruby on Dec 4, 2020 20:48:04 GMT -5
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Post by ruby on Dec 4, 2020 21:11:31 GMT -5
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Post by SirFurryanimalWales on Dec 8, 2020 9:25:23 GMT -5
My friend Jack Hughes went to France, but whenever he introduced himself to people they got all defensive.”
“During an interview recently the journalist asked if I minded her using a recorder. I said that was fine, and then she started playing Three Blind Mice.”
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Post by The Inspector on Dec 24, 2020 22:12:25 GMT -5
Some told me that the house had ghosts and were afraid to go in, I said so what there are a lot of houses with trump follower, that I am afraid to go in. trump follower are so much more dangerous than ghosts?
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Post by SirFurryanimalWales on Dec 25, 2020 0:41:29 GMT -5
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas,Eve.
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Post by SirFurryanimalWales on Dec 26, 2020 9:31:58 GMT -5
A guy was driving down a country lane when he felt a bump. He stopped and having got out of the car realised he had hit a rabbit. Moments later another car pulled up and a man got out walked over to ask what had happened. The first guy told him he had run over a rabbit. The second gent said he was a vet and would take a look. The vet declared. “That's not a rabbit, it's a hare and I have something that should help". The vet proceeds to administer ointment onto the hare. Moments later it jumps up runs 10 yards turns and waves at them, runs another 10 yards turns and waves at them and it does this until out of sight. The first guy said. “Wow that was amazing, what's in that ointment”
Wait for it………
The vet says. “Hare restorer with permanent wave",
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Post by SirFurryanimalWales on Jan 1, 2021 4:38:51 GMT -5
My internet is slow but hopefully this posts quickly...HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Have a great 2019!
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Post by ruby on Jan 3, 2021 18:04:12 GMT -5
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Post by notmydad on Feb 22, 2021 14:19:02 GMT -5
What's the difference between Barack Obama and Donald Trump?
Donald Trump thinks harass is two words.
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Post by 2old on May 28, 2021 11:22:31 GMT -5
My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.' The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the people at MacD's.
We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used that repairman since...
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE. My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a government employee.....
When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT! They walk among us, they breed, and they vote REPUBLICAN!!
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Post by SirFurryanimalWales on Jun 8, 2021 4:14:26 GMT -5
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying "Ooh, I love how smooth it is!"
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Post by 2old on Jun 18, 2021 21:24:53 GMT -5
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Post by SirFurryanimalWales on Aug 24, 2021 9:02:40 GMT -5
I was sitting in traffic the other day. Probably why I got run over.
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