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Post by tnthomas on Jul 2, 2018 23:36:18 GMT -5
...the actual fat shaming involving berating is presumably beyond practices of standard nursing.
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Post by rebecca2013 on Jul 3, 2018 4:50:32 GMT -5
I also think it depends who is asking... Someone you have a very close and intimate relationship can get away with more honesty than a work associate or casual friend.. why? because you trust them... and value their opinion... I can understand that... It's doubtful Ziyi would tell a client or a casual friend they look like a dork in an outfit. Don't you agree? It would be much more prudent to fib and walk away. HEY!!!! I NEVER SAID DORK...... I said dingus.... hahahahhahahahahahah That you did!! I stand corrected!! hahahahahhaha
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Post by smitty45 on Jul 3, 2018 10:44:11 GMT -5
nooooooooo.... I didn't think you were trying to insult her..... not at all..... She is just one of those people who will be totally upfront with you.... I also like to be "upfront" with people... but only if my comments are of real importance.. Like preventing them from hurting themselves or others.. If someone's behavior is dangerous to them.. physically or mentally... like if someone is so overweight it's a danger to them I will be totally honest and tell them they need to do something about it.. However, I see nothing wrong with tempering my honesty when it comes to matters of no real lasting importance, like for example, a bad haircut.. or a poor fashion choice. Hair grows out... outfits can be changed... but the hurt feelings last. This was the point I am making.. Now perhaps some folks want to be told their haircut is terrible.. or their clothing makes them look like a fool... I don't really want to do that, preferring to pick my battles.. particularly with someone who is important to me. My first wife was overweight,,, ,,,,, at 180 lbs at 5'3'',,,,,, I made the huge mistake of saying to her, something about losing weight... It would have been better to have said nothing. I never said she was fat, but I might as well have said, you look like a fat cow from the argument that happened, was just being honest and worrying about her.
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Post by tnthomas on Jul 3, 2018 11:31:50 GMT -5
just being honest and worrying about her. That never seems to work out or be appreciated.
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Post by birdgal on Jul 3, 2018 16:41:42 GMT -5
Honesty isn't always the best policy, imho. Many years ago a friend of mine had a baby. The guy is a good looking man these days but when he was born, how do I say this? Only a face a mother could love. And his head? OMG! But, when my friend asked me wasn't he beautiful what do you think I said? I said he was such a beautiful baby boy.
KWIM?
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Post by QuickSilver on Jul 4, 2018 10:32:12 GMT -5
Honesty isn't always the best policy, imho. Many years ago a friend of mine had a baby. The guy is a good looking man these days but when he was born, how do I say this? Only a face a mother could love. And his head? OMG! But, when my friend asked me wasn't he beautiful what do you think I said? I said he was such a beautiful baby boy. KWIM? This is exactly the example I meant... WHO is going to be so honest to tell a proud mama her kid looks like a frog.. or in fact say nothing when asked. I think the mother would get the idea if she asked and a person remained silent rather than tell a fib. Of COURSE you are going to tell her what she wants to hear.. you are going to tell her "yes. your bably is beautiful... or perfect... or adorable... or something but certainly not ugly.
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Post by tnthomas on Jul 4, 2018 11:46:07 GMT -5
Of COURSE you are going to tell her what she wants to hear.. you are going to tell her "yes. your bably is beautiful... or perfect... or adorable... or something but certainly not ugly.
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Post by Fireheart on Jul 14, 2018 16:52:41 GMT -5
Fat shaming never works.
I'd rather be upfront & honest than putting up the facade using white lies. If someone doesn't like my honesty, then they can stop asking me for my opinion re: their hair, clothes, etc. If someone continues to hurt my feelings under the guise of "brutal" honesty.. I would do more than stop asking their opinion... I would avoid them completely.. there is no reason to be insulting and then pretend you are doing it for their own good... particularly when a little white lie would salvage their feelings. It's a form of bullying. The minute someone says to me.. "I'm always brutally honest" I know they really don't anyone's best interest at heart.. they are looking to be cruel. I believe in being honest, that being said, it doesn't mean that you can't have tact. If a friend buys a new outfit and asks if I like it (and I don't), I wouldn't say, "OMG!No! You look horrible!", but I might say, "I'm not really a fan of that color on you, but if you like it, great!" Personally, I had rather someone be honest with me about something than to lie about it. Their opinion is simply that, their opinion. In the example above...it might make me realize, "Hey! She's right! I might want to exchange this for something more flattering." However, if I really like it and don't agree with her opinion, I'm going to keep it and wear it regardless. No hard feelings. We simply have different tastes and different opinions. No big deal. I honestly feel like #1)people take things way too personally & #2) people are far too sensitive about trivial things.
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Post by TheSource on Jul 17, 2018 20:52:05 GMT -5
Do you believe a person should always be truthful? Or is a fib now and again the kindest policy? Yes. A person should always be truthful. But in certain situations, I agree that there are 'tactful' ways of telling the truth.
Fibs are lies in disguise.
How do YOU define "brutal honesty"? Is there really such a thing or is the phrase just a metaphor? You're either 'honest' or you're not.
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Post by QuickSilver on Jul 18, 2018 6:19:24 GMT -5
Do you believe a person should always be truthful? Or is a fib now and again the kindest policy? Yes. A person should always be truthful. But in certain situations, I agree that there are 'tactful' ways of telling the truth.
Fibs are lies in disguise.
How do YOU define "brutal honesty"? Is there really such a thing or is the phrase just a metaphor? You're either 'honest' or you're not. Of course you can understand that brutal honest is just blurting out the hurtful truth without tact.. right? and tact is great.. and much better than brutal honest.. but even with tact.. the recipient KNOWS that tact is being used.. I STILL and I continue to believe that there are times that you tell a person what you know they want to hear and leave them alone.. As in the example of the woman with the ugly baby.. Tell me TheSource .. how would you respond "Tactfully" when the woman asks you if her baby isn't beautiful? Love to hear that "tactful" response. lol! Sometime a person's feelings are much more important than your need to tell the truth.. don't you agree? I would have no problem telling that mother yes.. Her baby is absolutely beautiful.. and watching that mother beam..
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Post by tnthomas on Jul 18, 2018 15:07:47 GMT -5
how would you respond "Tactfully" when the woman asks you if her baby isn't beautiful? For someone who's fishing for a compliment, being truthful isn't what they're looking for...might as well make an exception and tell them what they want to hear.
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Post by QuickSilver on Jul 18, 2018 16:27:02 GMT -5
how would you respond "Tactfully" when the woman asks you if her baby isn't beautiful? For someone who's fishing for a compliment, being truthful isn't what they're looking for...might as well make an exception and tell them what they want to hear. And it doesn't hurt anyone or anything..
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Post by birdgal on Jul 18, 2018 18:38:18 GMT -5
The thing sitting in the WH and those that worship him were fond of saying he's just being brutally honest. Oh, so that's what we call lying these days? Honesty? I haven't heard them say that lately. Suddenly they're silent.
It really is a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world. I can't keep up. lol.
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Post by Sunkist on Jul 18, 2018 18:42:01 GMT -5
The thing sitting in the WH and those that worship him are fond of saying he's just being honest. Oh, so that's what we call lying these days? Honesty? It really is a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world. I can't keep up. lol. Same here. It's why I ordered a new copy of "1984" today.
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Post by birdgal on Jul 18, 2018 18:47:02 GMT -5
It's why I ordered a new copy of "1984" today. I still have the original. I should get a new copy. Scary how many times a day I'll say, "That's right out of 1984!"
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