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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 21, 2018 10:05:26 GMT -5
Yes.. it is snarky and was meant to be. I get really sick of those fortunate enough to have better situations wondering why I didn't.... It's almost like being asked.. "what is wrong with you for ending up with a$$holes".. and I resent it.. So unless you have faced the things I have.. you don't get to comment. That's BS....knat didn't direct her question at you..it was to everyone.
knat asked a question...inquiring how one finds a new significant other in their life after being out of the dating circle for ages, using herself as an example. If stating she's been married to the same person for 46 years bothered you, that's your problem.
You need to chill and stop taking everything so personal IMO. No one is condemning you or anyone else for having multiple divorces or marriages. No.. this was nkats question.
Perhaps if she hadn't prefaced it with "I am on my only dh going on 46 years" as if she deserves some sort of medal.. offense would not have been taken. As it was stated... was just a tad smug... as was your post... And YES.. you and she were lucky. Do you not think people can conceal their true selves long enough to fool someone. What would you and nkat have done if 9 years into your marriage you found out your husband was sleeping with anything that laid down? I don't need inquisitions into why I had to divorce him.. or why I married a 2nd mistake..
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Post by nkat on Jun 21, 2018 10:22:10 GMT -5
I do deserve a medal for 46 years with the same person. Men get cranky as they age, some sort of male menopause! Until you said that, I never gave that a thought! A big solid gold metal! I met him at an Eat N Park others met people in clubs in my day. Some of my girlfriends never got married, never met the right one. I blame Vietnam on that, for the lack of men. Some of you have had multiple marriages and I just wondered where and how did you met all those spouses. I know they just did not walk up and knock on your door! I really did not want to know why you got divorced. nkat
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 21, 2018 10:49:29 GMT -5
I do deserve a medal for 46 years with the same person. Men get cranky as they age, some sort of male menopause! Until you said that, I never gave that a thought! A big solid gold metal! I met him at an Eat N Park others met people in clubs in my day. Some of my girlfriends never got married, never met the right one. I blame Vietnam on that, for the lack of men. Some of you have had multiple marriages and I just wondered where and how did you met all those spouses. I know they just did not walk up and knock on your door! I really did not want to know why you got divorced. nkat Don't you think ALL women who successfully navigate life.. go through menopause.. raise healthy productive children. (some of us by ourselves with no man to depend on) deserve medals? Why just those in 46 year marriages?. I can assure you that I would be celebrating my 52nd wedding anniversary had my 1st husband remained faithful in our marriage.. I on the other hand, had to navigate the pitfalls of motherhood.. as well as re-invent myself by getting my nursing degree so I could make sure my sons could go to college, BY MYSELF.. I really think that medal belongs to ME.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2018 10:58:43 GMT -5
are you genuinely curious? Or do you simply want to feel superior that you made better choices.. the fact remains.. People DO change after marriage.. people DO hide their true characters until they feel it's safe to let their guard down. You did NOT make a better choice.. you just got lucky. I'll bet you were just a joy to live with and it was always 100% the fault of your exes.
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Post by nkat on Jun 21, 2018 11:04:45 GMT -5
You can have a platinum one! Wear it proudly!
Come to think about it, I do not know if I would ever want to get married again at any age!
nkat
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 21, 2018 11:12:22 GMT -5
You can have a platinum one! Wear it proudly!
Come to think about it, I do not know if I would ever want to get married again at any age!
nkat I prefer having a partner and living as a married woman.. The problem was finding the right one.. I have with my present husband.. But I can understand what you mean.. if anything were to happen to him, I would prefer to live by myself.. He's younger than I am.. maybe I won't have to face that situation...
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 21, 2018 11:14:44 GMT -5
are you genuinely curious? Or do you simply want to feel superior that you made better choices.. the fact remains.. People DO change after marriage.. people DO hide their true characters until they feel it's safe to let their guard down. You did NOT make a better choice.. you just got lucky. I'll bet you were just a joy to live with and it was always 100% the fault of your exes. I can always count on a stupid insulting remark from you...… right? @tobytyler... I imagine your present wife stays drunk.. I know I would if you were around..
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Post by Drifter on Jun 21, 2018 12:34:52 GMT -5
Perhaps if she hadn't prefaced it with "I am on my only dh going on 46 years" as if she deserves some sort of medal.. offense would not have been taken. As it was stated... was just a tad smug... as was your post... And YES.. you and she were lucky. Do you not think people can conceal their true selves long enough to fool someone. What would you and nkat have done if 9 years into your marriage you found out your husband was sleeping with anything that laid down? I don't need inquisitions into why I had to divorce him.. or why I married a 2nd mistake.. I can see by what you posted that you are still bitter about your past circumstances, delving into self pity, with a tad bit of jealousy of someone who's marriage is solid for numerous years.
NO, you don't have to respond to inquiries....so why are you explaining or responding at all!
But...Kudos to you for bettering yourself to make a future for yourself and your sons.
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 21, 2018 15:01:30 GMT -5
Perhaps if she hadn't prefaced it with "I am on my only dh going on 46 years" as if she deserves some sort of medal.. offense would not have been taken. As it was stated... was just a tad smug... as was your post... And YES.. you and she were lucky. Do you not think people can conceal their true selves long enough to fool someone. What would you and nkat have done if 9 years into your marriage you found out your husband was sleeping with anything that laid down? I don't need inquisitions into why I had to divorce him.. or why I married a 2nd mistake.. I can see by what you posted that you are still bitter about your past circumstances, delving into self pity, with a tad bit of jealousy of someone who's marriage is solid for numerous years.
NO, you don't have to respond to inquiries....so why are you explaining or responding at all!
But...Kudos to you for bettering yourself to make a future for yourself and your sons.
Jealous? Why should I be jealous.. I have no idea what you have had to put up with to keep your long term, "solid" marriage and I don't care... Bitter... No... I'm pretty PROUD of myself and all that I have accomplished.. a great lucrative career, financial security and I did it all myself... no man to leach off of.. Everything I have I've earned by the sweat off my own back.. not hubby's So Yes.. I've got a lot I can hold my head up high over... What I responded to was the obvious smugness and self satisfaction coming across in several posts.. yours included. There was no reason for it.. You don't deserve any more credit for your long term marriage than I do blame for ending an abusive one.
And while I'm on my soapbox... this is the problem with women.. SO happy to tear each other down.. and SO eager to place their value on a marriage. We should not judge other women by the men they marry or how "successful" the marriage was.... or how many marriages another has had. Women are and always will be their own worst enemies.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2018 15:06:41 GMT -5
I imagine your present wife stays drunk.. My wife doesn't even drink coffee, but thanks for the cheap shot on a family member. I'll remember that and try to return the favor.
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 21, 2018 15:08:20 GMT -5
I imagine your present wife stays drunk.. My wife doesn't even drink coffee, but thanks for the cheap shot on a family member. I'll remember that and try to return the favor. Well, you certainly would know all about cheap shots.. Go ahead.. and see what happens.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2018 15:08:22 GMT -5
I can see by what you posted that you are still bitter about your past circumstances, delving into self pity, with a tad bit of jealousy of someone who's marriage is solid for numerous years.
NO, you don't have to respond to inquiries....so why are you explaining or responding at all!
But...Kudos to you for bettering yourself to make a future for yourself and your sons.
Jealous? Why should I be jealous.. I have no idea what you have had to put up with to keep your long term, "solid" marriage and I don't care... Bitter... No... I'm pretty PROUD of myself and all that I have accomplished.. a great lucrative career, financial security and I did it all myself... no man to leach off of.. Everything I have I've earned by the sweat off my own back.. not hubby's So Yes.. I've got a lot I can hold my head up high over... What I responded to was the obvious smugness and self satisfaction coming across in several posts.. yours included. There was no reason for it.. You don't deserve any more credit for your long term marriage than I do blame for ending an abusive one.
And while I'm on my soapbox... this is the problem with women.. SO happy to tear each other down.. and SO eager to place their value on a marriage. We should not judge other women by the men they marry or how "successful" the marriage was.... or how many marriages another has had. Women are and always will be their own worst enemies.
Wow! Aren't we defensive! Someone must have hit pretty close to the mark.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2018 15:10:31 GMT -5
My wife doesn't even drink coffee, but thanks for the cheap shot on a family member. I'll remember that and try to return the favor. Well, you certainly would know all about cheap shots.. Go ahead.. and see what happens. I have to admit. This is one of those rare times when you got the best of me. I can't bring myself to go as low as you. Congratulations!
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 21, 2018 15:11:11 GMT -5
Jealous? Why should I be jealous.. I have no idea what you have had to put up with to keep your long term, "solid" marriage and I don't care... Bitter... No... I'm pretty PROUD of myself and all that I have accomplished.. a great lucrative career, financial security and I did it all myself... no man to leach off of.. Everything I have I've earned by the sweat off my own back.. not hubby's So Yes.. I've got a lot I can hold my head up high over... What I responded to was the obvious smugness and self satisfaction coming across in several posts.. yours included. There was no reason for it.. You don't deserve any more credit for your long term marriage than I do blame for ending an abusive one.
And while I'm on my soapbox... this is the problem with women.. SO happy to tear each other down.. and SO eager to place their value on a marriage. We should not judge other women by the men they marry or how "successful" the marriage was.... or how many marriages another has had. Women are and always will be their own worst enemies.
Wow! Aren't we defensive! Someone must have hit pretty close to the mark. Not defensive at all... just telling it like it is..
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 21, 2018 15:12:04 GMT -5
Well, you certainly would know all about cheap shots.. Go ahead.. and see what happens. I have to admit. This is one of those rare times when you got the best of me. I can't bring myself to go as low as you. Congratulations! Oh I'm quite sure you've gone down pretty low @tobytyler
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