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Post by highlandannie on Jun 13, 2018 15:12:05 GMT -5
...just to be clear so you'll know- when I speak of "not forgetting" that by no means implies carrying some kind of grudge, or harboring bad feelings. I know what you meant... and to be honest.. I DID make the same mistake twice.. by marrying my 2nd husband... But I learned and didn't repeat that stupid mistake a third time.. They do say three times is the charm though. My second one was even worse than the first. Third time is definitely the charm!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2018 17:28:25 GMT -5
I know what you meant... and to be honest.. I DID make the same mistake twice.. by marrying my 2nd husband... But I learned and didn't repeat that stupid mistake a third time.. They do say three times is the charm though. ...or in my case four. The first three were different stupid mistakes.
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Post by tnthomas on Jun 13, 2018 17:36:29 GMT -5
...or in my case four. The first three were different stupid mistakes. Aaah! Now I understand, it all makes sense. I was on-the-streets for a while after I got out of the service...sometimes had to 'borrow' to eat...
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Post by birdgal on Jun 16, 2018 18:54:52 GMT -5
that by no means implies carrying some kind of grudge, I wouldn't carry a grudge either. I heard they shed a lot.
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Post by nkat on Jun 18, 2018 12:49:39 GMT -5
I am on my only dh going on 46 years! I can not believe all the spouses some of you had! How did you meet and find them all?
nkat
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 20, 2018 6:28:16 GMT -5
I am on my only dh going on 46 years! I can not believe all the spouses some of you had! How did you meet and find them all?
nkat How nice for you.
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 20, 2018 7:32:02 GMT -5
I am on my only dh going on 46 years! I can not believe all the spouses some of you had! How did you meet and find them all?
nkat How nice for you. are you genuinely curious? Or do you simply want to feel superior that you made better choices.. the fact remains.. People DO change after marriage.. people DO hide their true characters until they feel it's safe to let their guard down. You did NOT make a better choice.. you just got lucky.
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Post by Drifter on Jun 20, 2018 8:15:06 GMT -5
are you genuinely curious? Or do you simply want to feel superior that you made better choices.. the fact remains.. People DO change after marriage.. people DO hide their true characters until they feel it's safe to let their guard down. You did NOT make a better choice.. you just got lucky. Pretty snarky comment, don't you think?
I guess I'm "lucky" too then.
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Post by nkat on Jun 20, 2018 9:24:20 GMT -5
are you genuinely curious? Or do you simply want to feel superior that you made better choices.. the fact remains.. People DO change after marriage.. people DO hide their true characters until they feel it's safe to let their guard down. You did NOT make a better choice.. you just got lucky.
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Post by nkat on Jun 20, 2018 9:27:09 GMT -5
I was curious but not now. Over the years , I would not even know how to find another guy. Maybe some of us put up with more than others and do not have to have a perfect world!
nkat
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 20, 2018 10:06:31 GMT -5
I was curious but not now. Over the years , I would not even know how to find another guy. Maybe some of us put up with more than others and do not have to have a perfect world! nkat This is true... First husband was wonderful... until he started running around with other women. Never showed that side to me when we were dating.. 2nd husband was a different story.. I thought he would be kind to my kids and help me raise them... HE wasn't... and he didn't. I had some clues before I married him, but brushed them off.. 3rd husband.. so far so good.. and it's been 15 years.
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Post by tnthomas on Jun 20, 2018 10:21:06 GMT -5
I had some clues before I married him, but brushed them off.. I learned [the hard way] to pay attention to those GUT feelings about people...
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 21, 2018 7:52:57 GMT -5
I had some clues before I married him, but brushed them off.. I learned [the hard way] to pay attention to those GUT feelings about people... You have to consider the era I was in. This was in the late 70's... A single mother with two children faced discrimination that women to not have to today. I couldn't get an apartment as a divorcee.... I was told by one potential landlord that it was a well known fact that divorcees were unstable.. I finally lied on a application to say I was a widow and got a small place for us to live in a private home, but my kids were restricted from playing outside or using the yard, because the landlord didn't like the noise. I didn't have child care.. my mom (grudgingly) watched my kids before and after school... She refused to watch them in the summer and Day Care cost me half my paycheck every week. My job was in jeopardy every time I was called by the school on a matter.. and I could not take time off to care for a sick child.. in fear of losing it.
So along came a solution... A guy who was willing to, God Forbid, take on a woman with two young boys and provide a home in a nice neighborhood with good schools.. He didn't physically abuse us.. but he was controlling and uncaring. The boys hated him... and eventually so did I. Then he died... oh well.. bye. It may have been a sell out on my part.. but he provided and I felt some of the fear and dread taken off my shoulders. I did care about him in the beginning.. even loved him... too bad he killed that... I did what I thought was best for my kids.. I plead guilty to not making the right choice.. but it was the only thing I could see to do at the time.
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Post by QuickSilver on Jun 21, 2018 7:59:13 GMT -5
are you genuinely curious? Or do you simply want to feel superior that you made better choices.. the fact remains.. People DO change after marriage.. people DO hide their true characters until they feel it's safe to let their guard down. You did NOT make a better choice.. you just got lucky. Pretty snarky comment, don't you think?
I guess I'm "lucky" too then. Yes.. it is snarky and was meant to be. I get really sick of those fortunate enough to have better situations wondering why I didn't.... It's almost like being asked.. "what is wrong with you for ending up with a$$holes".. and I resent it.. So unless you have faced the things I have.. you don't get to comment.
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Post by Drifter on Jun 21, 2018 8:07:39 GMT -5
Pretty snarky comment, don't you think?
I guess I'm "lucky" too then. Yes.. it is snarky and was meant to be. I get really sick of those fortunate enough to have better situations wondering why I didn't.... It's almost like being asked.. "what is wrong with you for ending up with a$$holes".. and I resent it.. So unless you have faced the things I have.. you don't get to comment. That's BS....knat didn't direct her question at you..it was to everyone.
knat asked a question...inquiring how one finds a new significant other in their life after being out of the dating circle for ages, using herself as an example. If stating she's been married to the same person for 46 years bothered you, that's your problem.
You need to chill and stop taking everything so personal IMO. No one is condemning you or anyone else for having multiple divorces or marriages.
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